What is faith? I've heard it said many times that faith is the absence of fear. Yet, many times I have found strength to move forward in faith despite fear, rather than without it. Going on a mission, for example- I was scared to go, terrified in fact. But I went because I believed it was God's will, and miracles happened. I was afraid nearly every day of my mission to go out and talk to these strangers, but I kept in mind Almaden 26 and this (probably butchered) quote from an old WVM missionary, told us by our mission president-elect "I have had the privilege of being rejected thousands of times" and I went forward and I did get rejected and it was a privilege, to be a missionary and to bear that mantle. I was closer to the Spirit than I've ever been- but still, I was afraid every day. So faith to me is not the absence of fear, but that the trust in God is greater.
I've also heard faith described as a spiritual gift. Yes, we must plant, water, and nourish our seed of faith (Alma 32) but who gave us the seed? God gives us greater faith and power as we care for the faith that we already have. I've seen that in myself to- the strength that I have is not from me. If I were left to my own strength, I may be unable to get out of bed in the morning. I wouldn't be able to handle the stresses of life. As it is, I am making progress, with His help. He sustains me every day, when I feel I can't work for another hour, or how will I ever get everything done, He is there.
I've been attending a self-reliance group and last night we watched a video from Elder Bednar describing the exercise and power of faith:
I love the phrase "When their feet are wet." In life, I think each of us must face down our own River Jordans. It could be addictions, mental health, family struggles, abuse, illness, anything and everything that afflicts us. But the Lord promises us that the waters will part and we will pass through on dry ground. But we must take those first halting steps forward, even into the water (sometimes I feel as if I'm waist deep!) The water will always part-time but not until we have shown our trust in Him.
One of my favorite verses of scripture is Ether 3:19. This is a part of the story of the Brother of Jared- a man with truly powerful faith, who accomplished miracles under the direction of his God. He built barges and prepared to sail across the ocean, to leave his homeland, and then came the test. There was no light in the barges, and the Lord asked the Brother of James to think of a solution. So he brought sixteen stones to the Lord and asked if He would touch them, that they would give light for their journey. Then the wonder- he sees the finger of the Lord. In verse 19, there is the phrase "he had faith no longer, for he knew, nothing doubting."
When I approach the banks of the River Jordans in my life, I wonder if this time it will not part, and yet I can continue forward anyway because I trust that my God will never let me down, not now or ever. I choose to trust Him despite doubt and fear, and He comes through. Doubt is the necessary complement to faith. Choosing faith within doubt refines us, brings us closer to God, and strengthens that faith beyond measure. We could not have faith if we did not doubt, but over time those doubts become smaller and smaller until someday, we will "[know], nothing doubting."
So my challenge to you in whatever you are facing is to not stop choosing faith. Take what God has given you and make it grow, and He will never fail you. I know that, more than anything. Even when all seems lost and the heaven's appear closed, He is still there and He will come through.
