TBT: Tragedy Of The What?

Found this in my old stuff...don't think I ever finished it! From an essay I read for a biology class at some point.

"The tragedy of the commons develops in this way. Picture a pasture open to all. It is to be expected that each herdsman will try to keep as many cattle as possible on the commons. Such an arrangement may work reasonably satisfactorily for centuries because tribal wars, poaching, and disease keep the numbers of both man and beast well below the carrying capacity of the land. Finally, however, comes the day of reckoning, that is, the day when the long-desired goal of social stability becomes a reality. At this point, the inherent logic of the commons remorselessly generates tragedy. As a rational being, each herdsman seeks to maximize his gain. Explicitly or implicitly, more or less consciously, he asks, “What is the utility to me of adding one more animal to my herd?” This utility has one negative and one positive component. 1) The positive component is a function of the increment of one animal. Since the herdsman receives all the proceeds from the sale of the additional animal, the positive utility is nearly +1. 2) The negative component is a function of the additional overgrazing created by one more animal. Since, however, the effects of overgrazing are shared by all the herdsmen, the negative utility for any particular decision-making herdsman is only a fraction of -1. Adding together the component partial utilities, the rational herdsman concludes that the only sensible course for him to pursue is to add another animal to his herd. And another; and another....But this is the conclusion reached by each and every rational herdsman sharing a commons.Therein is the tragedy. Each man is locked into a system that compels him to increase his herd without limit—in a world that is limited. Ruin is the destination toward which all men rush, each pursuing his own best interest in a society that believes in the freedom of the commons." (Herdin, The Tragedy Of The Commons)

Hardin's basic claim in his essay The Tragedy Of The Commons is that freedom in the commons brings ruin to the population as a whole. A commons is defined as an area where all may partake of its various benefits without disadvantage to them, as in the situation of the fields and the herdsman above. Evaluating benefits is done on a case-by-case basis (the individual herdsman deciding whether to add a new animal to his herd) rather than looking at the benefits and detriments such an action would bring to the group or area as a whole.

It is my belief that the problem does not lie with the issue of freedom, but rather the issue of what we do with it. How do we choose to act, and how do we teach our children to act? I think the problem is the perception of what that freedom means.

It starts at birth- or, rather, sometimes it doesn't. It starts with watching a potential mother agonize over the decision to see it through. It starts with deciding that a body, a lifestyle, a trip, a figure, is more important than that life. It starts with ripping a small growing being from where it first began, keeping it from ever experiencing anything besides conception and death. Because the advantages offer so much more than the disadvantages- to the mother. But to the world? What would that child have become? But that isn't something that crossed her mind, when she decided. It was all about her.

In childhood- which toys belong to which child? Who gets what, make sure it's fair unless it's in your favor. Children are the least susceptible to the tragedy of the commons, but nonetheless are a part of it. Watch them. Watch what they fight about- aren't they the most angry when they don't get their way? When the game doesn't go how they wish it to, when they don't get the toy they wished for.

And teenage years. Oh the sweet, sweet torture. The years of me. Am I pretty, handsome enough? Do they like me? What are they thinking about me? I bet they talk behind my back and say mean things. Does this look good on me? In some ways, this is an important time of self-discovery, of learning and growing, but in other ways, it is an epitome of the tragedy. This time that is more full of sadness and exuberance than any other, but also so much more self-centered. It is a rare person that will do something that doesn't benefit them in some way. "What's in it for me?"

This is the issue: What we teach them. How we live. What do they see? We are all the same at heart. We are all self-interested, with that nagging hint of virtue. But if we let the virtue rule, what a world that would be. Yet self-interest keeps it from happening. Self-interest destroys relationships, destroys people, destroys worlds. This is the true tragedy of the commons.

A Short Poem About College Life

need sleep
want sleep
don't have sleep

need time
want time
don't have time

for you (oil spills)

I'll paint a portrait of love and loss, memories and oil spills
Coarse beach sand between my toes, a heart like an ocean
The clouds rolled in and I exulted - rain! rain at last!
But when they opened, rain was not what descended
I thought you were pure water, but I was wrong
The black liquid of you pouring across bright memories
Your glutinous solution sunk deep, discolored what was pure
A dark stain across my waves that previously gleamed
You killed my wildlife- my dreaming birds and darting fishes
They died, and the corpses washed ashore to rest at my feet
Soft feathers coated with slick, and scales that do not shine
To clean you up- it took great effort and much expense
I purified my ocean of you, but part of you remains
Bits of black dissolved into the expanse of salted sea
The memories I cannot forget
You were an oil spill that disguised itself as rain
The ocean waves roll, and though I am clean,
The water still remembers you

Isn't it funny that the only time we truly feel our own pain
             is when we have no strength left to deal with it?

Or perhaps we only realize we're feeling it
             when we no longer have the strength to hold it back

Brain Dump: An Old Thought Brought Back To Light

For a year or two now, one of the things I've held pride in is the fact that I felt like I didn't need a relationship, because to me that means that when I enter into a relationship, it will be because I want it, and not out of hormonal drive or some need to feel validated. 

Yet in that year or two, I've slipped up. This week is one of those. Perhaps it's the heavier load of work and homework- I'm working probably twice as many hours, and have more complex homework, and still have to fill obligations to friends and roommates, because I don't want to lose those precious relationships. Is it, then, so out of place, for me to wish that I had someone there to put their arm around me and tell me  I'm doing fine? To just sit with me, do homework in the living room with me. Someone that I'm truly comfortable around. Is it wrong to want that?

It's an interesting sort of feeling, for me. For the past couple weeks, I haven't had any interest at all in a relationship, right up until about three days ago. I seriously didn't even think about it. I was too busy, anyway, with homework and classes and getting used to a new schedule. 

But that's not the main point that I wanted to write about. That's not the old thought that came up. The old thought was this: That all pain is valid. There is no point where emotional pain is so insignificant that it should be disregarded. There is greater pain, yes, but that doesn't make the lesser pain unworthy of care. My stupid desire for a hug, for company when I'm lonely, shouldn't be disregarded. Someone I know is dealing with having to quit their job because they'd been working there for six years and never even been offered a raise. That may seem like a small reason to some, but that doesn't mean that they don't deserve help and support. 

Big issues need help and support as well. Abuse, loss, depression; all need that outreached hand and that knowledge that they are loved and cared for. But I would just like to say that we, as humans, should not allow the severity of these issues to constantly and entirely obscure smaller ones. 

I've told the story before, how there was a time where I felt incredibly insecure and sad, and I went to a friend and she told me I was being stupid and needed to suck it up. I have another story, however, of the flip side of the coin. This happened not long ago- a friend of mine who is depressed had run off early that morning, and we were afraid he might try to hurt himself. When I found out, I started to panic. By then, the issue had mostly been addressed, but it was still a cause of worry. My thoughts spiraled down the worst possible path, projecting the worst future. At that point, I was aware I needed to not be by myself- this kind of reaction was only hurting me and wouldn't help anything. So I texted another friend of mine, asking if I could just come over and hang out because I needed the company of someone who knew what had happened. She immediately said yes, despite being in the middle of her German homework with another member of her class. I just sat and talked with them, and I think that helped most of all. That night we actually ended up getting together with a few other people and doing something for that person, so it turned out much better, even for the one that we were all worried about, I think. It could have been so much worse, but it wasn't, because we banded together to help each other

My point is this: help others, even in the small things. Only good can come of it. 

Love

Your palm is warm against mine, and your fingers keep mine from freezing

When I shiver suddenly in a breeze that's filled with snow

Residual warmth and weight- your coat- rests on my shoulders

Swing the door open, and it jingles, allowing the sounds of dinner to escape

You pull out my chair- my knees slip beneath a scarlet cloth

Later, we will skid and slide home on a brand-new white carpet

Then on a couch- green like your eyes and soft like your heart-

Your embrace will tighten around me. I will rest my head against your shoulder

Warmth is no longer confined to touching palms

We are two birds, resting beneath our wings for the winter

The warmth and glow from the fireplace illuminate us

It will guard us as heavy eyes slip down-down-down

Until dawn peeks through the window to rouse us

In case you're interested....this poem came from an assignment in Creative Writing. We were asked to describe ideas and words using sensory details.

Swimming

I remember the day when I first discovered
That allowing breath free from tightened lungs
Makes it possible to sink far below the surface

The world turned azure, and sounds muffled
Hearing is not so important anymore. I focus on
Roughness, the floor pressed against bare knees

My breath is gone, so it's but a moment, yet such stillness
A maze of legs, a labyrinth shifting every second. Bubbles like fog
Obscure sight, and navigation is impossible, but why move?

I am made of loose muscles and drifting limbs
In this moment, with chlorine on my tongue, that taste- to me
It means freedom. My mind drifts endlessly with the water

This instant is frantically still

And a moment later, bursting free of the water's claim
Breath returning to tighten empty lungs, and perhaps being tight
The tenseness, and emotion, is a part of being truly human