In the past, I have often wondered (and sometimes complained about) how no one really teaches the correct way to balance truth and tolerance. Everything I read was vague, with comparisons that I didn't always understand, or that did not help. But today I had a thought: what if balancing truth and tolerance isn't something that can be taught?
This week, the Supreme Court, in a close 5-4 vote, legalized same sex marriage in all fifty states. If you haven't heard about it by now, I might be a little concerned for you. It seemed like everything exploded into rainbows when the news came in, and it's the thing on everyone's lips, for good or for bad. As the statement above says, the Church does not support same sex marriage. In fact, twenty or so years ago, the Church released "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" (full text here) which states that "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children" and that "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." As such, how could the Church support today's many gender-neutralizing movements?
Of course, this is not the be-all and end-all of the Church's teachings on the topics of same sex attraction and marriage. Their teachings also include exhortations to love and support all of our brothers and sisters in this human family, even if they act in a way that is contrary to our beliefs. This is much different than the moral relativism preached in the world today- we believe in absolute truths. However, we also believe in agreeing to disagree, and treating each other with respect as equals in the sight of God.
My thought today related to the balancing of truth and tolerance as mentioned above. The Church speaks about truth and tolerance, often in the same breath. But what is the best way to balance these seemingly contradictory principles?
The car that I drive is a 2001 Saturn, a little blue car. It's also a stick shift, which is a rare sight nowadays. The first time I drove that car, I was with my dad. He tried to explain to me the best way to achieve balance between the clutch and the gas pedal. He used words like "about halfway" and showed me the engine rotations increasing and decreasing as he changed gears. When I attempted to move, I did so slowly, with a lot of jerking about, and occasionally stalling. I did not have another chance to drive this car until months later, when I took it out on my own. Again, I was met with much trouble, as the engine stalled and I could not figure out how to start it back up! As I slowly meandered through the neighborhood, I often misjudged the balance and ended up bouncing as the car struggled to stay alive.
I have been driving that car for over a year now, and I not only know how to start it, I almost never stall the engine. I am able to stop and go smoothly, with little protest from the engine. I can accelerate quickly and I know how to use the gears to get up hills, or to slow down on ice. The only way to learn how to drive a stick shift, in my experience, was through practice and application of the basic principles that my dad taught me.
I'm sure it's easy to see the parallel that I'm drawing. At first, the clutch and the gas may seem to be at odds with one another, yet in order to drive, both pedals are required. For a smooth ride, the driver needs to achieve a careful balance when shifting between the two pedals. I would like to compare the clutch to truth, and the gas to tolerance. Letting up on the clutch too quickly can result in jerking around. Not using it at all means being stuck in first gear, or even neutral, unable to move faster than about fifteen mph without ruining the car. Yet, too much on the clutch, and you will only end up coasting. Without gas, the car cannot accelerate at all, but will gradually slow until it stops completely. You need both truth and tolerance to achieve maximum speed and control, and they must be carefully balanced according to the situation.
As a Mormon in this chaotic world, I am trying to learn how to drive, desperately attempting to balance truth and tolerance. Sometimes my engine stalls. Sometimes I get thrown around a bit. But I keep trying, keep practicing, so someday I can navigate the troubles of this world with relative ease. As same sex marriage becomes normal, this will become a necessary skill. I must stand firm in my beliefs of the absolute truth of marriage between a man and a woman, just as I must respect and treat with kindness those that do not accept the same belief.
Like driving a stick shift, balancing truth and tolerance is a skill each individual must learn for themselves. Practice is necessary, and I think in the coming months, we will all have opportunities to do so.
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