Tossed To And Fro

"And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive" (Ephesians 4:11-14). 

These verses have become some of my favorites. Earlier on in the same chapter is a verse we quoted often in my mission- verse 5, which says "One Lord, one faith, one baptism." That verse is one that Joseph Smith read before reading the better-known James 1:5 and having the miraculous experience known as the First Vision. And because of that, because of the First Vision and Joseph's calling as a prophet of the Lord, just as Moses and Abraham and Noah of old, I can find comfort in the verses above, that because of modern apostles and prophets, I need not be "tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine." In today's world, that is a big deal. I feel as if the "winds of doctrine" have gone from small breezes to regular hurricane-strength gusts that will carry us away if we aren't holding on to something steady.

On my mission I had an interesting experience with this scripture. For background- while I was serving, the First Presidency sent out a letter and announced changes in the leadership handbook that stated that the children of homosexual couples cannot be baptized until the age of eighteen. My first response was to be a little angry and upset- it seemed unfair and cruel. As missionaries, we talk to a lot of people, and so we heard a wide variety of responses (luckily a member had let us know to expect it, since as missionaries in my mission, we also didn't watch the news or use Facebook or other social media).

Attempting to figure this out was rather hard. But, because I'd had similar dilemmas before, I knew where I'd find answers- in the words of the scriptures and our modern day prophet and apostles, and through the Holy Ghost. So I studied it out. I read a lot. And eventually things began to make a little more sense- although I didn't understand it perfectly, I knew enough to move forward with faith. But this post isn't about this specific policy; it's about the scripture from Ephesians.

We had been meeting with a woman for a short amount of time who had been baptized many years ago but had not been coming to church for a long time (she had the neatest, sweetest dog). And she asked us about this policy. She was offended and felt that it was wrong. She expressed her views and we were able to really talk about it. I tried to share some of what I'd come across in my own studies, but really, she didn't want to listen. Which to me was so sad that, because of her anger, she'd deny the Spirit, and the sure foundation Heavenly Father has provided in His gospel. That's when I remembered this scripture (or the Spirit brought it to my mind), and connected it with another of my favorites, Ether 12:4, which reads "Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God."

In that moment, the Spirit spoke to me and taught me something very valuable. I learned that the world tells us a lot of things. The world will tell us who we have to be or what we have to think or wear or do to be enough. The world will take doctrine and twist it until it is nearly unrecognizable. Satan will attempt to confuse us and anger us, tell us to be offended and to turn our backs on every truth because of one thing we don't like or 100% agree with. The world will keep throwing words like "bigot" or "cult" or "prejudiced" against us. But when has that ever not been the case? When have God's ways ever been popular in the world? The truth is, staying to the strait and narrow path is not easy, nor should we expect it to be. But because of what we have been blessed with- because of modern day apostles and prophets, because we have that active living revelation through them, and also personally, we have a sure foundation. That is what makes "an anchor to the souls of men." I have something to hold onto when those hurricane winds swirl around me and threaten to rip me apart. We are all to be united. We are all to love one another. And that can be done while staying true to the commandments, whether through ancient or modern prophets. The world will tell us that is impossible. But I can tell you, through experience, that not only is it possible, but it is worth it.

The world often tells me things that seem to make sense. They appear logical at first. But they cause me to have self-doubt, confusion, sadness, and fear. Those are signs to me- signs that I need to take a step back, to look at the eternal perspective through the lens of the Plan of Salvation and guided by the Holy Ghost. Then I can have peace of mind and focus on what is really important. I can live in this world without being of this world- without being tossed about with every new fad, trend, or movement. And I know there are so man people out there who are doing the same, and I am so grateful for you and for the example you set to me and to those around you. The world needs you. Stay strong. And if you're having trouble- turn to the scriptures. Turn to the words of our living prophet. Turn to your Heavenly Father in prayer. Slowly and surely, everything will make sense. Everything will fall into place. I promise you that.

Confident Change

Confidence is found in the most unlikely of places
She finds it in the quiet whisperings of God
And in laughing with her friends and family
She finds it in moments of inspiration and creativity
Most especially in those moments where she wants
         to change the world
It is in those confident moments
That who she is pours out onto paper
In pictures, in phrases, poems, in art
When she sees her soul on paper, then, again
She smiles because deep, deep inside
She holds on to one unshakable truth
That she is beautiful, she is worth it
          she can change the world
Even though she's surrounded by a country
Whose people no longer seem to care
A country that seeks pleasure and not right
She lives where morals died, where dreams faded
And she wants to have courage to dream and do what's right
           she has the courage to change her world
She holds a smile for everyone and a laugh
Her heart could hold the world if she let it
Loving so deeply that loss breaks her open
And the state of the world unleashes a flood
            tears come when she can't change the world



PAD Day 28

Bio Assignments and Body Image

This was inspired by a pre-class biology assignment on health and body image.(This is why I love BYU)

I can't tell you what it's like to be fat in this world

But I can tell you what it's like to be thin.

The truth is, I don't know where to start. I am naturally thin, though I don't exercise. I don't eat a whole lot either, but right now that's due to supply rather than demand. Either way, I've been thin my whole life. And it's not easy. Especially because I don't conform to typical fashion standards. Imagine being that girl, the one who should look like that, who's told that she's so thin all the time, as if it was somehow better. Even though she was never desirable, or rather desired, because everyone went for (goes for) those girls with the perfect hair, the great fashion, skinny jeans and blond hair and leggings, scarves and jewelry and purses. But at least she (this theoretical girl) was thin right?

What good is thin, really?

Because she still sat lonely, and because it had been told her so much that she was so pretty - and skinny - she noticed how bigger girls were still more desirable, those girls with great fashion, and she wondered what was wrong. After all, she was thin right? And that was all she ever heard was beautiful about her. And in this society, you aren't allowed to notice your own beauty, or you're conceited, narcissistic. So she began to notice her too-large nose, and her close-centered eyes, and her square chin, and the weird faces she was always making in pictures. She noticed her thighs and how they jiggled and jounced, and ballooned out to whale-like proportions when she sat down, or so it seemed. She made it all a joke, though inside it tore her apart. And she forgot about what her parents had told her, about her bright eyes and the light from inside, and she fell, collapsed in on herself in a haze of "not-good-enough" because in a world where thin people were praised, she wasn't.

But as she grew older she began to grow brighter. And she began to realize that it didn't matter as much as they said it did, that she was thin. She began to see that she wasn't willing to put in the effort to look like the other girls did, because in the end, she realized, finally, that she'd rather be different, herself, and undesirable, than a clone, finally noticed for being pretty in the exact same ways as everyone else. She would actually rather be different. Because they never tell you, in this society, that who you are is more important than wearing the right sweater, jeans, leggings, boots, scarves, jackets, bags, whatever. But we know it. Somewhere deep inside us, we know it. And our souls cry out, with that small voice that is all we've left them, "Don't listen." Their words will not hold you through the night but these will: You are beautiful even if no one acknowledges it.

And if you need someone to acknowledge it, I will.

Because there is so much more to life than what you see in the mirror. "Skinny" is not all that I am. I am not defined by my hip-to-waist ratio or how well I dance. I am not defined by how I move, or the way I do my hair. I am so much more than that. And you are too. If you can read this, if you are reading it, if you have even a shred of potential to be able to read this, then you are more than you can imagine. And you are beautiful.

Even if the world refuses to acknowledge it.

(I'll tell you a secret: They're just a little bit jealous. You see, they have as hard a time seeing their own beauty as you do in seeing yours)