Winter Is The Loneliest Season

Winter is the loneliest season I know
It doesn't matter how much it snows
There's hot chocolate and blankets and hugs and tea
And then on the outside, there's always been me
The cold is so lonely when someone's not there
The blankets aren't as soft, and your words are only air
So to all the lonely souls that sleep alone on these cold nights
Just know that someday, this wrong will be made right
Let yourself be distracted by the dance of snowflakes in the sky
Watch movies and learn to love yourself as the days and nights go by
And when the lonely winter comes again, I know it will be sad
But when you're looking forward, the cold is not so bad
And the winter is more than the lonely feeling in the cold
It's a season to remember all the stories we've been told
Winter is wonder, light and beauty, presents beneath the tree
Winter is a reminder that Christ came for you and me
And it can be beautiful if you learn to play the part
The joy and spirit will come in and fill up any heart
But after all the carols and the laughter and the snow
It really seems that winter is the loneliest season I know

PAD Day 3

Unrequited

We are all lost
We are all wandering
In our souls, we tread forgotten ground
The sky is great, the sand is dark
We stumble, we try, we trudge ever onward
The only color from our souls themselves

Sometimes from far away it seems
We see a soul that is familiar
In an unexplainable way
And we wave, we shout, we holler
But they do not turn
They simply start to walk away
So we follow, because we must know
If their soul is the one we're looking for

And we feel like needy children, forever shouting 

"Love me, love me!"

But we cannot stop, because we must know

But no matter how fast we run, how high we jump

It's never enough to catch up
They are always too far to hear us or to see
But if they could, would they think we were familiar
As they are to us?

And eventually we give up

They are too far away
Or perhaps they have met another soul
And you can see that there is no room for you there
Or perhaps you meet them and understand
They cannot be who you thought they were
And perhaps they never were

The first is worst, of course
You forever carry the memory of their shining soul
And wonder at the lost potential
The second is sad
For watching their attention be bestowed on another
After all the effort you made
That is sadness
The third is heartbreak
Feeling lied to and deceived
When really you fooled yourself

We souls walk this desolate ground alone
Searching for someone to share the loneliness with

Second Best

That is the worst feeling in the world- to feel second best. Unfortunately, it's a feeling I'm familiar with. Being kind of in the background, being a last resort, that's me. It kind of stinks a lot.

It's a hard feeling to get past. Because this feeling has its source in others' actions by definition, you have no control over whether or not you're second best to them. And it's hard to move past, to ignore or disregard, because who wants to be in that place?

It's like being the kids that always get chosen last for teams. You just stand there, awkwardly waiting for someone to claim you, while around you, everyone else is quickly being taken. It's that feeling of being unnoticed, perhaps even unnoticeable. It's really close to getting worthless, although not quite the same. It's possible to have a healthy self-esteem and still be affected by this.

It's feeling unrecognized and invisible. It's feeling like they see you as incompetent or not good enough.

My challenge is this: don't let anyone feel that way. Especially if they aren't your second choice. Especially if they're your friend. Humans are fragile beings- we must be careful, with ourselves and others.

This isn't to say you must pretend to care, but rather that you should let someone know where they stand. And also make up your mind, to include them or not, rather than this random divvying out of affection and indifference, so that they never know where they stand. That's the worst.