Candid

Candid photos are the best
They reveal the soul behind the face
They capture when your eyes light up
There nothing that can replace
Your smile when nobody is watching
The expression in your eyes
Your manner when you're talking
Not your photograph-disguise
Fake smiles on bright faces
And it's oh so rare
That a posed-for photo
Can capture what's really there

Modern Angels

Today in regional conference, we heard a talk that was partly about angels. This is what came to my mind.

My angels are not winged. They don't sit in the heavens and sing day and night. They do not fly about with cherubic faces and harps. But they do watch over people. They watch over me.

But they are not perfect, not in the least. That only makes them more wonderful in my eyes. I can relate to them. They understand. My angels are human.

Literally.

You know them as friends and family, but I say angels.

They do so much, you see. They love and hold and protect and listen. They sympathize and empathize and trust. My friends are truly my angels.

And the best part is, unlike the angels in myths, I can repay my debt to my angels. I can try to be for them what they are for me. That's the best part.

Don't forget your angels.

Sunday Morning

Sitting in traffic
The car thrums around me
Like the heartbeat of someone
Who has just exercised
It feels out of breath

The Man in the Coffee Shop

There once was a man who wrote a novel on a napkin
That nobody could read,  because you see
The words were so tiny and close together
Sometimes the letters overlapped, or smudged
Creating an ink smear to blot out an entire chapter
His pen ran dry three times, the ink fading out
The only time a word could be deciphered
He wrote this novel in times of both sorrow and joy
The characters were fully fleshed out
The man wrote every morning in the coffee shop
He wrote for years and years, one sentence at a time
Many passed by but nobody saw
Or if they did, they thought he was crazy
Nobody knew that he was creating a world
Out of pen and a fragile napkin
The man wrote this novel
And while works of "art" hang in galleries
Blank canvases, work that takes a minute or less
Red dots and blue lines, no work at all
One day in the coffee shop on the corner
The man's novel was crumpled
And tossed out with the trash

There once was a man who wrote a novel on a napkin
And nobody knew, because they didn't pay attention

Brain & Heart

Sorry it's really rough, I was half asleep when I wrote this.

Brain: It will never work out, you know.

Heart: I don't care!

B: You will.

H: Will not!

B: Look, he's not even paying attention to you. There's no hope.

H: There's always hope! If I try reeaallllyyyyyy hard.

B: Look. Guys like him just don't like girls like you, okay? Remember what happened last time.

H: I've grown since that happened! It won't happen again.

B: You're doing it again.

H: What?

B: Don't you see he's exactly like him?

H: Well.....maybe.....but it doesn't matter!

B: It does! He'll break you too, silly Heart. They always do. They always will

H: Shut up! Shut up! I won't listen to you. Something will work out someday! I just know it.

B:.........

H: Shut up.

B: I just don't want you to get hurt again.

H: Yeah. I know. But I can't stop myself. I don't want to.

B: Why?

H: Well isn't this better than thinking it's hopeless? At least a little?

B: No.

H: Well of course you wouldn't think so. But I do. So there.

B: Please don't. You're going on a mission. You want that too.

H: Yeah. Hey maybe that's why they don't see me! Cuz nothing can happen until I've served a mission.

B: Stop. Just stop. You're being ridiculous.

H: Sshhhhh. Ridiculous comforts me.

B: They'll never see you.

H: They will. They have to.

Faith=Choice

I was reading in 1 Nephi 17 today, and read this verse:

45 Ye are swift to do iniquity but slow to remember the Lord your God. Ye have seen an angel, and he spake unto you; yea, ye have heard his voice from time to time; and he hath spoken unto you in a still small voice, but ye were past feeling, that ye could not feel his words; wherefore, he has spoken unto you like unto the voice of thunder, which did cause the earth to shake as if it were to divide asunder.

This verse got me thinking about how faith is a choice. Laman and Lemuel had signs and wonders performed before their eyes. They saw an angel! They felt the Spirit, heard voices of thunder. Yet they still did not have faith. They believed their father was crazy and Nephi equally mad.

Faith is a choice.

It's not an easy one, like "salad or soup," not at all. It's a lifestyle choice. Kinda like eating right or exercising every day- it's hard. But it gets easier the more that you do it. Choosing faith is like that.

I have had conversations in the past with someone who didn't really believe faith was a choice. I guess they thought it just showed up magically or something. Or that you were born with it. I mean, sure you can be born with a more faithful predisposition, I believe that, but anyone can be faithful, and gain faith. That conversation was a weird one, because of the differing beliefs. Because I believe faith is chosen.

What if it wasn't a choice? What if certain people were born to be faithful and others weren't? There would be no converts then because no one would be able to choose- they'd just be faithful. Nobody would ever lose their faith- but nobody would gain it either. It would hurt our free agency, a lot. That would make God a partial God and a respecter of persons, which he is not. God accepts all that choose to come to him.

We choose to come unto him. We choose our faith and then gain a confirmation through our actions. We know from the Book of Mormon that God does not show signs to whoever asks. He shows them to the faithful though, to those who have chosen Him.

I guess my whole point is that we choose to believe. And we have to choose every day to not give up, to hold on to that faith. And it can be hard, so hard. But it can also be beautiful. Don't give up.

Inauguration Pt 2

So. We ended up in the front row. Less than five hundred feet away from President Monson and the rest of the First Presidency!!! It was way cool. A great experience. We heard some good talks, beautiful music, it was just incredible. Definitely a once in a lifetime experience.