Do you remember where you came from? Out of the darkness, you were shaped by divine hands for a marvelous purpose. You were filled with wonder and light, and all those things needed to sustain life. All of us mortals were placed here to play a part in that same marvelous purpose and wondrous plan. Yet, as part of this plan, there needed to be an opposition. The darkness set foot on your soils and tempted, tormented, and cried out with terror and fear. This darkness touched us- and it has touched you.
Now the darkness is everywhere, attempting to bring everything to chaos. Confusion reigns supreme. Growing up here, I was caught in the whirlpool for a little while- and it still tugs at me now. One blogger said it perfectly, talking about the outcry over Beauty and the Beast:
"There’s a bigger issue in society that no one signs a petition for or writes blogs about or smothers social media with, and that’s because it’s not a “sexy” trend. But it’s poisoning our kids left and right. And more than two men kissing, it is creating a desensitized generation.Everything within you, world, seems to lean towards confusion. Who are you attracted to, how can you be noticed (because that is accepted as being the same as loved), what gender are you? How can you make yourself more attractive? You are full of a sexualized culture that treats bodies as pleasure objects and people as animals, who are slaves to their desires. You laud instant gratification, then shout that you've been robbed when the consequences arrive. The children within your society cannot avoid being exposed to these ideals- of abuse, of dominance, of bribery. They cannot avoid the message that their worth comes from their body's attractiveness.
And that’s pornography.
I’m not just talking about the X-rated videos and images that are blatantly pornographic.
I’m talking about the fact that every movie I see nowadays it feels like it has at least one scene with a topless woman in it. I’m talking about commercials for lubricant or Viagra that cross so many lines I’ve lost track–and the sex scenes in every new release movie, music video, and even theater plays of our generation that explicitly show sex, promiscuous women, rape, strippers, sexually abusive relationships, prostitution….need I even go on? It is romanticized, glamorized, airbrushed, and lauded. It is shown so frequently and in so many ways that it has become our normal."
Because of the voices I heard, I struggled to believe I was beautiful- because boys didn't want to date me. I struggled to believe I was worth anything- because I wasn't famous or noticed or well-known. And I was sheltered. I lived in a home that was a refuge from many of these influences. I cannot even imagine what it would have been like without that sanctuary. I might not have survived. You told me I was small and worthless because I didn't have the perfect body, I didn't curl my hair or style it with some expensive product, I didn't care about makeup or fashion.
Luckily, the gospel says something different. Through the Spirit, I can sometimes catch a glimpse of what good is in this world.
I see my mom, who has battled mental illness her whole life, still getting up in the morning. Still going to church. Still working hard. Still loving, with a heart that is bigger and gentler than anyone else I know. I've never known anyone who can make a baby laugh as quickly as my mother.
I see some of my dearest friends, fighting so hard to overcome addictions, frustrations, and everything else, struggling against a thousand angry, doubting voices, continuing to push forward, through dark times, through sadness and pain, through loneliness and uncertainty. Never giving up and holding fast to the fire of their testimony- which I have felt through a thousand letters and conversations. That fire burns brightly still. They will see victory. I believe that, a thousand times over.
I see many people quietly battling for the good that is in you, world, by living their lives to what they know is right. They may not raise protests or make the evening news. The biggest difference they may make is in the lives of their children who watch their noble example. But in the end, I believe that is the biggest difference that can possibly be made.
I see others showing endless compassion and charity towards those who are struggling. They never give up on the ones they love, and they never stop reaching out.
I have seen many who, through the long night of doubt, have emerged with their faith held high. World, your night could not dim their flame. Your darkness could not dampen their spirits permanently. That spark never went out.
I see myself- still here, still fighting every day for the faith that holds me steady. I can finally believe that I am beautiful and that I am worth something- even though I'm still not famous and I don't have boys falling at my feet. That doesn't affect my worth or my beauty. I am beautiful- and so are you- because we were created by Him, and He is a creator of beauty. I am worth something because I am a child of God and because of the potential within me. My goal is to become someone not great or famous but just good. Someone full of light and strength, who can see the truth through the darkness. So in a way, world, I am grateful for your darkness, because it is making me stronger. By fighting against it, I am choosing who I want to be.
I have seen all kinds of people- which still is only a small fraction of those that exist all around this earth, and the sheer variety astounds me. Each person truly is unique. You cannot convince me that this is not the work of those same divine hands. I have been blessed to feel- so briefly- a small part of the love that Heavenly Father feels for His children. Though you, world, try to hide that fact, try and deceive me into not believing, into not loving, into anger and hatred and doubt, I cannot deny what I have felt.
You have tried to take my attention from that which truly matters, and turn it to those things which are of no worth, and cannot satisfy. Because in the end, we all long for something greater, something eternal. You are still telling lies about the small things, blowing them out of proportion, in order to confuse and lead us away from what truly will beautify our lives, and give us a sense of who we truly are.
There is still beauty in you. The towering pines of the Pacific Northwest, the Rocky Mountains, the sunsets every evening, the billowing clouds, the flowers and plants...it is all beautiful. And one day, world, the beauty and light will overcome the darkness, and you will be restored to your rightful state, as a witness of the glory of God. The day when Christ comes again, that is when the darkness will be cast out. I can't wait.
Love,
Erin
No comments:
Post a Comment