Dear you,
Today I want you to know that you are a fighter. You are a warrior. And you are strong.
There are so many voices in this world. They'll tell you who you should be, what to wear, how to think, what to believe. Many of them have good intentions- I can't fault them for that. But I want you to know that no matter what, unless it is accompanied by the peace and whisperings of the Spirit, you do not need to give it any heed.
There is so much temptation, so much evil, all around us. Exposure to it cannot be avoided. Sin is more accessible than ever- which means that we must be stronger. Luckily, our Savior has all the strength we could ever require. Luckily, He has already won the war and now we must fight our individual battles. And even if we lose one, or three, or a thousand, if we keep fighting, we will win the war. Strength doesn't come all at once, like a flash of lightning (at least not in my experience). Conquering whatever tempts us and draws us in is not easy. Sometimes it is incredibly lonely. Sometimes the voices in the world will tell you that it is impossible and you can't make it and you might as well give up. But what I want to tell you is that those voices are WRONG. Yes, it's hard and it seems lonely. But your Savior is with you. And I am on your side. If you are fighting to choose the right, remember that His strength is available to you 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Jesus Christ never closes shop, or takes weekend vacations.
Many of these voices are discouraging. Many tell you lies about who you are, what you are worth, and what you are capable of becoming. Remember what the scriptures say. You are a child of God- a child of the all-powerful, Creator of the universe. And He knows you and loves you, individually. For most of my life, I didn't really believe that. There are seven billion or so people on the earth right now. Not to mention the billions that lived and died before me, and all those who will live after me. I felt small and insignificant. But as I studied the plan of salvation, as I learned about the Atonement, and most especially as I attended the temple, I felt the witness of the Spirit confirm that He does know me. He has the capacity to perfectly love, know, and care for all of the billions of people who walk this earth. His love for someone else does not diminish His love for me, and vice versa. He has an individual plan for my life, and for your life, and for your sister's life, or your dad's life, and He knows how to make all the pieces fit. It is incomprehensible, how amazing He is, and how great His love is. So if right now, you can't seem to feel or have faith in that love, then go to the temple. If you can't go inside, then sit on the grounds. Study the Atonement. There is always more. Pray and ask- Ask Heavenly Father if He loves you. Ask Him if He knows you. He will tell you.
When I was in the MTC, I felt a great desire to know if God truly knew and loved me. I had heard it a thousand times through Primary and Seminary and Sunday School, but I had trouble believing. So I prayed, earnestly and honestly, and I asked. That week, my companion and I decided to participate in the MTC choir. We were singing the song "A Child's Prayer" (listen here). Before we began, the director got up and he told us a story of his daughter when she was little. He began by talking about how big the universe is- if our galaxy were the thickness of one sheet of paper, it would take a stack that was billions of sheets of paper tall to even begin to equal the size of the universe. On one particular Sunday, his daughter was in the Primary program and they were singing a song called "Scripture Power." I remember singing the same song while I was in Primary. There was a part where all the children held their scriptures in the air. Well they got to church and his daughter says, "I forgot my Book of Mormon!" Her special book, with her name on the front. He told her to just borrow some scriptures from the meetinghouse library but she insisted. Her book had been lost for a while. So, for his daughter, he drove home and on the way he said a prayer. He asked Heavenly Father to help him find this little girl's scriptures so she could hold them up. And immediately into his mind came the image of exactly where they were and he found them and brought them to his daughter. Our director expressed to us that despite the universe being so large, and Heavenly Father being a piece of every part of it, that He cared enough to pause and point out that girl's scriptures.
Faith is a funny thing. It's not a one-size-fits-all, nor is it blindly following wherever someone may lead. If I had to say something, I'd say faith is a lot like trust. It's trusting in our Heavenly Father's plan. Faith comes by choice, first and foremost. It comes by study. And most importantly, it comes by the Spirit. There have been many times I've had questions. And I've studied and prayed and studied some more. The answer always comes. Not always quickly, but it always comes, and then things make sense. I may be young. I may be inexperienced. But I know that God answers prayers. I know that He has a plan and that He cares. He is always by my side and He is always by yours. That I do know from my own experience. I cannot deny the spiritual experiences I've had. So lean on Him. Ask questions. Wait for the answer. Trust in Him- by choice. That will bring you true peace.
Love,
Erin
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