Last night, I drove three of my friends home after rehearsal, just being nice. It was late at night, and my car is a super old stick shift that I'm not totally expert at driving. Today, my friends, including one who wasn't even present, were giving me a hard time about my driving, and I got a little upset. I mean, sure I am actually not an expert but I'm not that bad. And I was doing them a service, driving them when I could be sleeping at home.
When I got upset, my friends just said "Calm down, it's not a big deal, everyone does it/we do it to everyone" (referring to the hard time they were giving me). What about everyone doing it makes it right? What if I'm not everyone? Excuse me for thinking you'd be civil to your (apparently) taxi service! My final thought was this:
Just because everyone is doing it doesn't make it right
Giving people a hard time can have a big effect-if this had happened a year ago, I may never have gained the self-esteem I have now, and what I have is still a little fragile. Giving me a hard time could have pushed me deeper into depression.
Not to mention it's annoying. And what about it is good natured or friendly? "I'm your friend, let me tell you that you suck at something," oh joy, just what I always wanted. The friendship and care are just oozing out of that, aren't they? And then to be told that it's okay because everyone does it....
No wonder I don't trust very many people. It's hard to make friends, isn't it, when they give everyone a hard time. When are they serious, when are they joking? Contrary to popular belief, it's not easy to tell when they're joking, and it hurts anyway.
Often the group mind is wrong- just because everyone does it doesn't make it okay, or helpful, or kind. Be careful of following the crowd.
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