Existential College Hamlet

To read or not to read, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous review
Or to take arms against a sea of tests
And by opposing fail them. To die- to sleep
No more; and by sleep to say we end
The study and the many failed GEs
That student is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Never to be wished. To die, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream-aye, there's the rub.
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this student's burden,
Must give us pause-there's the respect
That makes calamity of so much stress
For who would bear the whips and scorns of grades
Th'professor's wrong, the proud peer's contumely,
The pangs of dispriz'd hope, our own delay
The insolence of students, and the spurns
With patient merit th'procrastinator takes
When he himself might well his grades have made
With a new pencil? Who would backpacks bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the longed-for time after finals
The undiscovered country, from which break
He must one day return, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear these ills we have
Than leave them for marks we all know of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is covered o'er with the grand weight of books
And reviewing with great notes and effort
With this regard, "fail" grades do turn awry
And lose the name of action