Pressurepressurepressure

I wrote a part a while back called Pushing And Strong Tides. It was mostly about peer pressure and a decision I was making. Basically this decision was a very controversial one, in its own way, and was part of a stand I was attempting to take. Yet, in this stand, I had no support from any of my peers. I was literally surrounded by friends and people that I trusted, who pushed and pulled me against what I was trying to stand for. It's like drowning, and being told that you'll breathe just fine, because all your friends are.

Support and empathy are important. If I had known even one person who had spoken out, who had stood up for me and what I wanted, perhaps I would have decided differently. Don't forget that, when you see your friends struggling. My choice led to more heartbreak than was necessary. Because I was pushed. Because to genuinely want something and have to tell yourself no is hard enough, but to have literally everyone around you pushing you to say yes is even harder. Especially when it's the people that were supposed to stand behind you, and support you. It requires so much strength to stand against that, and I wish I'd had that strength, but even more than that, I wish I'd had support.

It should be mentioned that I had adults who stood behind my decision. But if you've been there, you know,  it's the support of your friends that really counts.

I've been guilty in the past of not doing that, of being too critical. It hurt one of my dearest friendships, and it never recovered.

Even if there is disagreement, I have come to believe in constant support. But also in making them aware of your thoughts. Like saying "I don't agree with your course, but I care for you and I will defend you and protect you. I will be there for you." There a great quote, from Rick Warren, that speaks to this, in the last line. He says something I consider to be a great truth. "You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate."

So please, watch out for your friends. It is incredibly hard, and heartbreaking, to be without a support system from your peers. It is so incredibly important, a great source of strength. Please be that system. Be the one to tell them it's okay to make that decision, to be different. Tell them that no matter what differences there are in what you believe, that you'll always love and care for them. If I had even one person say that, I think my whole summer would have been different. Just one person. Be that person. It makes a huge difference.

And if you find people who are a support system, keep them close! Find as many as you can and don't let them go. Be there for them. Sometimes they need it the most.

It's not always about whether you agree or disagree. Sometimes it's just about being a friend.

PS Special thanks to Jared Moya for most recently being that friend for me