Sunday Series: Be Perfected (Puzzles and Perfection)

"Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God." (Moroni 10:32)

I love this scripture, and not just because it was my last theme as a youth. It's a wonderful scripture with a good message, and I wish we shared the full thing more often, rather than just the beginning. My visiting teaching companion and I actually shared it as part of our message for the month and I loved the thoughts that we had.

My companion said that this scripture is wonderful because it illustrates a process. The transformation we go through from imperfect beings, from the natural man to a godlike being and a joyous, perfect creation, is not instant. It does not happen in a moment or in the twinkling of an eye. Rather, it occurs over years and years of striving. It takes a lot of work, and a lot of mistakes. We fall and we stumble, but if we get back up and keep moving, we can make it someday. By God's grace, we can make it.

While she was speaking, I was thinking, and what crossed my mind was the relationship between "perfect" and "complete." In the scriptures, as I've heard many times in Sunday School, "perfect" means "complete" more than it does "without flaw." I love that meaning and relationship. God just wants us to become complete. And Christ can complete us- we can "be perfect in Christ" as the scripture says.

This brought to mind the idea of a puzzle. I imagine that each of us have one- our own puzzle, with a unique image that illustrates our lives. We are given the pieces when we are born, and all our lives, we try to solve them. Most days, we put pieces in place. Others, we knock them out, or lose them, and then we have to get on our hands and knees and search. But as we work to become better people, as we live and grow, our puzzles gradually take shape.

Yet, at the end of our lives, when we look at this puzzle, we will find that it is still incomplete.

There are pieces missing! Vital ones to the final picture. They just barely obscure the image. We may have a vague idea of what the picture could be, but we cannot see it. The pieces are missing. So we get down and we search everywhere. We look under tables, between couch cushions, around corners, in vents, in cupboards and down drains. We look everywhere. But they are nowhere to be found, and the puzzle has to be finished. Time is running out.

When we have searched as long and as hard as we can, we finally slump down to the floor, burying our heads in our arms. We have done all we can and there is nothing else we can do- we have fallen short. This is when we feel a gentle hand on our shoulder and a question. "Is this what you were looking for?"

We look up to find our older brother there. His face is kind and filled with love and sympathy. His hand is outstretched, and in it, we see our missing pieces, the ones we could not find. He gives them to us, and we cry tears of gratitude. Now the puzzle is complete, right on time. And the picture is beautiful.

Christ has the pieces that we do not. Once we have done all we can, searched everywhere we can look, placed every piece we have, then He comes and fills in the gaps in our puzzles. In the hymn "Where Can I Turn For Peace," in the third verse, there is the line "reaches my reaching." This is exactly what He does. We reach as far as we can, straining for just another inch. Once we can go no further, He extends His arm and takes our hands.

So we reach out! We come unto Christ, we area perfected in Him. He reaches our reaching, completes our puzzles, and makes us whole.

The other beauty of this is that this too is not an instant transformation right before judgment. In truth, He is right beside us as we work on our puzzles. He guides us, and helps us when we don't know what to do next. He is beside us throughout our life, and guides us to perfection, to completion.

And we now "can in nowise deny the power of God" for we have seen it! We have lived with it beside us every day. He has guided us in our trials and our joy, redeemed our sorrows and our sin, and all we need to do is reach just as far as we can, and He will do the rest.

Discoloration

my finger is discolored where my ring usually sits
a green that shows how often it is worn
when taken off it leaves a stain
to remind me
where it once sat

my finger is discolored where my ring used to sit
before everything changed and fell apart
pushed out the door
and far away
he took the ring with him

my finger is discolored where my ring used to sit
before the betrayal that rocked my world
unfaithful and untrue
heartbroken
the ring was thrown away

my finger is discolored where my ring used to sit
before the world changed

PAD Day 21

A Poem With A Strange Origin

The moon shall rise
but not give light
for it has lost the sun
the love of its life

To Leave Or Not To Leave

Enough to go anywhere

I stare at the wads of cash in my fists. Today, on a whim, I withdrew my whole bank account, got it all in ten-dollar bills. Alexander Hamilton stares at me, daring me. Here I stand, on a street in New York. The people move like water around me, but I am motionless, letting them part and pass.

This is enough money to go anywhere. I could go wherever I wanted, get a job, and be someone else. That's what I realized as I left the bank. I could fly to Europe, to Asia, to Mexico, or even just California. I could start a new life, where nobody knew my name. Is that what I really want? When I walked into the bank, had I just wanted to start over?

Life's been rough lately. Everything is slipping. My friends are fading into the background, now that I can't help them any more. I've been dreaming about leaving this crowded city, going somewhere new and trying again. Literally dreaming, every night. I see foreign countries, new cities and people. Old buildings and new opportunities. Jobs and happiness. I see second chances.

But how can I leave? I have a job now. I have commitments to keep, people to help. An appointment next Tuesday with a psychologist. And what if it's not my friends that have been leaving- what if it's me? Maybe the reason I don't see my friends is because I've been having a bit of a pity party. Maybe I pushed them out. Maybe it's my fault. But...maybe not.

Enough money to go anywhere.

I look again at the cash in my hands.

My resolve hardens. I know what I will-

Thud.

Suddenly I'm on the ground, and my hands are empty. My bag is gone.

Didn't even see the pickpocket coming.

A Humorous Night

This key lime tart
That I'm eating right now
Is so good to eat that
I feel like a cow
Lil' bite size tarts
With whipped cream on top
They taste so delicious
That I can't stop.....

....wait....

....what do you mean they're gone?!

Molasses Mornings And Vacation

There are days that move like molasses
                                                              slowly
                                                              inching
                                                                 on
              they move imperceptibly, but                  quicker               than you think
hours that pass without notice, days without pause
                                                          without seeing another human being
but you sit, gently
               wrapped in blankets
                                                perched on the couch like a bird
                                                or stretched out like a cat
                                                or just draped like fabric left out to dry and forgotten
                         have they forgotten? you are still alive

breathing
                ever
                            so
                                          slightly
                                                                on a day like molasses
                                                                no commitments or schedule
                                                                just relax
vacation time moves with molasses days
                                                          mornings that do not end until after one
                                                                             nights that do not end then either

slowly
                  inching
                                      past
                                                   but they're gone before you know it

before you can blink, they're gone, the hours passing faster than the eye can track the clock's hands blur, whirling at a speed you didn't know it had but every time you look at it....

....it freezes

molasses mornings

and vacation

PAD Day 20

An Ode To Black Friday

Thanksgiving came and passed by
We lived and we ate and we sighed
But last it did not
For soon we forgot
And the thanks we soon set aside

For the next day was Friday, you see
And that day we have a shopping spree!
With traffic and shouts
Curses and "Get out!"s
And no one at peace will you see

Parking lots backed up with people and cars
Carrying goods, new toys and "that's ours!"
They walk without care
Cause delay everywhere
Those shoppers could clog streets on Mars

The wise thing to do would be to stay inside
Within blankets and PJs, good people will hide
From the crazy spree
And insanity
Of shoppers that come like the tide

PAD Day 19

The Customary (and Late) Thanksgiving Post

I am grateful for many things
Like the stars that shine above
The music around that rings
The people that I love

I'm grateful for my family
And how close they are around
I'm grateful to be happy and free
In this country safe and sound

The light of the sun warm on my skin
And the moon that shines at night
The light that I feel shining within
And the wonder of God's might

The ability to create anew
Things that were not here before
To draw and write and speak something true
My soul is full evermore

PAD Day 18

Battle For Eternity

Th'eternal dance

The darkness below

And eternal flame

Reaches up great hands

Is a chance

It wants to know

God knows your name

Where heav'n stands

Twirling stars

So it can conquer

Shine 'cross time

Destroy everything

Never too far

God's throne tip over

Beyond the line

And hellfire sing

Galaxies spin

Shadow is master

Stop for no man

Of all set against

He forms them

The Lord God Creator

In the palm of his hand

The Savior He sent

Creations unnumbered

Torment eternal

Worlds without end

And so they descend

Made unencumbered

Fire infernal

Forever to stand

To burn and unbend

The light that he gave

Madness and sorrow

Shines eternal on

Dwell in that hell

His power to save

Who shall go

Shall never be gone

Who there shall dwell

PAD Day 17

The Northern Lights

My sister and I, we dance with the stars.

It's a life of beauty and sweet existence. We twirl among the clouds and mountain peaks, and leave colorful trails in our wake. We brush past each other in our frantic movement and I see my sister's wide grin. I smile in return. It is a wonderful thing, to dance for the sky.

The humans call us northern lights. But we are so much more. Aurora, and Borea, the dancing twins. We began before the world was, deep in the empty cold, and it was there that we first began our dance. The movements were small at first: a little motion, a tiny step, illuminating the shadows for a fleeting moment before they came again. We were forever together, battling the dark. I held my sister's hand and we rebelled against emptiness. We became the Light that opposed darkness.

The small movements we made, the illumination we trailed, it drew others to us. Creation and Life joined our dance, and together we formed a universe that was more than a void. Planets and creatures and growing, self-renewing beings came to be. Life and Creation came together to form humans, but they were yet in darkness. My sister and I danced our best then, leaving galaxies in our wake. The light left us in pieces: a star here, a star there, trails of light and matter across the span of existence. We laughed and pirouetted among what we had made.

But slowly the others fell silent. They lost the dance, and the energy that let them destroy the darkness by our side. They fell silent, sitting peacefully among what they had made. My sister and I tried to make them dance again, but they would not! Lost in the peace of their own accomplishments, they forgot to maintain them. Slowly, things began to fall, because the void was never truly gone, simply pushed back. And when the dance ceases, the void will return, rushing back in, snuffing out all the light we've made.

My sister and I dance here, on the point nearest extinction. When destruction begins, it will begin here. But until then, we will dance and try to keep the darkness away.

Three Trees

Three trees stand tall
Three trees don't fall
Three trees don't shake
These trees are fake

Three trees feel no breeze
Three trees inside, if you please
Three trees of varying height
Three trees always in the light

Three trees as tall as I
Three trees in baskets stand by
Three trees without roots
Three trees that will never bear fruit

Three trees stand tall
Three trees don't fall
These trees never shake
These trees are definitely fake

PAD Day 16

Dreaming In Your Eyes

Baby I love the dreaming in your eyes

Your unrestrained laugh and your unseen smile

The way that you look when you think no one can see

The way that you laugh when you're joking with me

It's the future that I'm seeing here tonight

It's the future that I'm dreaming could be right

And I know there's a time that's yet to be set

But as for right now, I don't know you yet

I'm like Michael Buble, singing what's to come

I can't wait to find you and hear about where you're from

These little things that you'll do to catch my eye

They'll make it impossible for you to pass me by

Baby I'll love the dreaming in your eyes

Your unrestrained laugh and the love in your smile

The look in your bright eyes when they meet mine

The way that your mind and your soul are so fine

I'll love giving you surprises that make you feel loved

And planning fun parties just so you can come

Seeing your face on the pillow next to me

The sweet sound of children acting crazy

But as for now, I'll just sit and wait

It won't be coincidence or fate

Yet someday I'll meet you and it will be true

I'll know I want forever to be with you 

PAD Day 15

I hope you fall in love so deeply that you forget your name and have to give it to her for safekeeping

Sunday Series: Neither Do I Condemn Thee

"Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy" (Matthew 5:7)

Mercy is a wonderful concept isn't it? Mercy means "kind and forgiving treatment of someone who could be treated harshly" (along with another couple definitions, all of which are relevant, but not to this post). I love this idea so much. To be treated with kindness when it is undeserved is one of the best and most wonderful feelings. It is a gift that shows love more than any other, I believe.

The scripture at the top illustrates another concept, one that the Savior spoke of during His ministry. The merciful shall obtain mercy- it's kind of like the Golden Rule, isn't it? Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Treat others how you want to be treated. Be merciful and receive mercy. It's a beautiful concept, but one that I sometimes feel the world does not grasp.

I believe everyone in this world has been told at one time or another to "suck it up" or to grow up and stop acting like a child. Sometimes this is justified, sure. Sometimes the emotion they show is just the tip of the iceberg. This is where the concept of treating others with mercy comes in. Sure, they might deserve to be treated harshly. They may be acting like a child. But think what effect kindness could have. What if it was just the tip of a huge iceberg? What if your harsh treatment, deserved or not, was the last straw? And what if it wasn't? I honestly don't believe that it matters. All people need mercy, even if we don't deserve it. Imagine, put yourself in their place. How would you react to harsh words, honestly? How would you react to kindness? Thinking back on my own past, I've found that harsh treatment has destroyed trust and caused me to hurt even more than I had been. It did not have the effect that it intended. Saying "suck it up" has only ever made things worse. But then, in those rare moments when I received kindness and the gift of mercy, I was able to truly release whatever was built up inside and feel better. Mercy made things better for me.

What if we were kind? What if we were merciful always, gave the benefit of the doubt, treated all around us with kindness even when it seems that harsher treatment has been earned?

The Savior was the perfect example of mercy. My dad has a painting in his office by Liz Lemon Swindle titled "He That Is Without Sin." The painting is of Christ and the woman taken in adultery. The woman's accusers stand around them. The woman herself is avoiding the Savior's gaze: she knows what she has done. It is a beautiful painting, and a wonderful story of mercy. The Lord said to the accusers "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her" (John 8:7). No stones were cast, and gradually those that had accused her left. The Savior asked, "Where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?" When she sees that none are there, she responds "No man, Lord." The Savior of the world, in His infinite mercy, says to her "Neither do I condemn thee; go and sin no more."

Now, looking at this story from the outside, it's easy to say that the woman deserved to be punished. The sin of adultery is a serious thing! Why was the Savior merciful; why did He not condemn her? She had earned any consequences that came of it. But He showed mercy. In my mind, I imagine that the woman was truly remorseful, that she realized what she had done. I imagine her resigned to a punishment that, had justice held all power, she would have received. Yet she received mercy. Imagine what a life she would have lived after this! A righteous life, most likely, a life that testified of the mercy of God and of His power. The Savior showing mercy saved this woman.

Mercy saves souls, hearts, and lives. This I believe more than anything. Justice has its time and place, and blunt words do too, but not towards  hearts that are hurting, hearts that are penitent, and/or hearts that are willing to change.

The merciful shall receive mercy (going back to the first scripture). If the merciful receive mercy, should we not be merciful? Do we not all need mercy, not only from God but from the people around us? Are we not all the woman taken in adultery- have we not all sinned and been condemned? But we can change, and the Lord knows that. The Lord knows our hearts, and if we are sincere when we fall before Him, I believe we will hear those words: "Neither do I condemn thee; go and sin no more."

Let us give those first words to others. Let us say to others "Neither do I condemn thee." We must be merciful for our sake and theirs. What right have we to judge and condemn? "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone." In our dealings with our fellow men, we must be merciful, or mercy will fail us at the last day. Let us be merciful as He was merciful.

He That Is Without Sin

Spoken Word Poetry

The beauty of the spoken word is little appreciated
                                                                                 in the quiet of the night I whisper
The nuance of the voice is little seen
                                                           to you though you cannot hear
The smallest inflections escape you
                                                          in the words that you see and that you read
Trying to find the beauty in the moment
                                                                 the sentences flow from my mind
Speaking the words of the deep corners of my soul
                                                                                  but no one is present to hear them
They then are written; recorded
                                                   pen gliding over page
                                                                                      (or fingers over keys)
The poetry of my heart was not meant to be read
                                                                               but spoken

PAD Day 14

You'll Never Read This

If a poem isn't read is it dead?
Or does it just sit and sob instead?
If a poem isn't read does it cry?
Or does it shrug metaphorical shoulders and sigh?

No! A poem is not a person, silly
I think your head is willy-nilly
Poems cannot die or sigh
They cannot bow their heads and cry

If a poem isn't read, does it rot?
Does it decompose into gross whatnot?
If a poem isn't read does it break?
Like dropped glass, for heaven's sake!

No! A poem is an idea, not an item
You cannot decompose or dry them
Poems cannot shatter or rot
That right there is crazy talk you've got!

If a poem is read does it sing?
Does its voice make the air ring?
If a poem is read does it party all night?
Does it get drunk and start a fight?

No! Poems aren't people (And even if they were
This one's Mormon so that wouldn't occur)
Poems don't sing without someone's voice
So right now I'll give you a choice

Read it aloud! At the top of your lungs.
Climb up a ladder and read it from the rungs
Tell it to everyone, spread it around
So that this poem can have a sound

Or ignore it again, like all the rest
The funny thing is, this is a test
To see if a poem not read must die
To see if a poem read can then fly

If a poem isn't read, did it ever exist?
Or was it just the alphabet shaking its fist?
If a poem isn't read does it fade away?
Like an old book from a long ago day


#thiswassupposedtobefunny

PAD Day 13

Smile Lines

Last night was Thursday, which means that I went to the temple to do baptisms for the dead. It was one of the best experiences I've had at the temple- the Spirit was so strong. I could feel the joy of the temple in my soul, and couldn't stop smiling. The baptistry was very busy, so I and my friends who accompanied me were in an overflow room for a while, singing hymns. This in and of itself was a marvelous thing. Anyone who knows me knows I love to sing, especially choral music and hymns. Last night, all of my favorite hymns were sung, "Nearer My God To Thee," "Lead Kindly Light" and "How Great Thou Art" being just a few. I felt a pure joy in that room, and a sweet assurance that the temple truly is the place where the Lord's work is performed.

While we waited in the overflow, the Assistant to the Matron spoke to us. As she spoke, I noticed something. This sister had very pronounced smile lines. They splayed out from the corners of her eyes, and the way they curved spoke of years of joy and service to the Lord and to her family. It was easy to tell that she knew the Spirit well and that she was full of happiness. She smiled as she talked, and I could see that the lines around her eyes fit her smile like puzzle pieces. The words she spoke also told of the sweetness of her soul. She challenged us to change the way we pray as we come up on Thanksgiving. She asked that we try to only give thanks, and not ask for anything. What a challenge! This woman is someone that I want to be like.

The temple is the house of the Lord, and the work that is done there truly belongs to Him. I could feel the joy of the souls as their work was done, could almost hear them shouting "Amen!" as the ordinance was completed. This is the work of salvation, and what a privilege to be a part of it! In the Lord's house, every beautiful thing on this Earth can exist, and the evil cannot enter. In the Lord's house, there is the truest kind of peace and joy. The temple is a place of love, and full of kindness, reverence, and peace of heart.

I am truly convinced that the Lord allowed me to feel this strongly last night to comfort me after a long and trying week. It has been so busy, so frantic, so stressful, and I had been a little depressed. But after going to the temple last night, I feel restored to myself. I feel optimistic again, and for the first time in maybe a month, I was able to see the early morning as beautiful, and notice everything that I'd started to miss or take for granted. My smile will not go away (not that I'm trying). I feel happier today because I went to the temple. It was a blessing to be there, after this week, and a gift to feel the love of the Lord around me. For the first time in a while, I truly recognized that He was there with me- I was never alone, even when I felt lonely. I could feel His arms and sense His angels around me. I could feel His love for every soul present, and for every soul that ever was. He rejoices in the work we performed for the dead last night, I am sure of it. He did not forsake them, but provided a way, and He'll do the same for us.

The spirit in the temple is the most sweet and beautiful feeling I've ever known.

Reaching Out

The beat sounding in my ears reminds me that there's hope
The shine of the sun in the sky reminds me that there's love
The contrast of the trees against the sky reminds me of beauty
And the joy of the Spirit reminds me that it is yet early

Eternity stretches ahead and eternity stretches behind
The morning reminds me that it's the Lord that we must find
The night reminds me of the blessings that he gave
And the stars above shining remind me who he saved

The warmth of my sweater reminds me that there's hope
The hugs of my friends remind me that there's love
The nights that I spend with my siblings and the Lord
They're the ones that make me certain of what I'm told

Happiness stretches ahead and happiness lies behind
And when we die, it's the Lord's joy we want to find
The music reminds me that He provided a path
And the scriptures say we can gain all our Father hath

The joy of the daytime reminds me that there's hope
The peace of the night reminds me that there's love
Art and beauty remind me of the potential we hold
And tell me the Lord will not leave us in the cold

The Lord looks far ahead And He's seen all that lies behind
And for every course we take, He knows what we will find
If we listen to His voice we'll be guided the right way
So that far in the future on that bright and beautiful day

We can hear Him say...

"Well done"

PAD Day 12

Cardboard Box Days

There is a haze over the city

Like dirty glass or old headlights

It makes the buildings look old

And tired

The mountains are a faded photograph

Dusted with white

Like the memories you keep

In your attic

It's a cardboard box day

Throwing off dust and nostalgia

Finding things you forgot

And learning

Contrast tells a story

These remnants in the box

Show who you were to who you've become

It's startling

There is a haze over these memories

Like dirty windows or aged glass

Some days it makes me feel old

Or just tired

PAD Day 12

2am

2am

is not a good time to do homework

                   but neither is 1am 

                       or anytime after 10

sleeping is for the very young and the very old right?

it's so early and my eyelids are heavy

                                                            descending

                                                                               down

                                                                                        until

                                                                                                 they

                                                                                                         close

                                                    the darkness is peaceful

                                      noise fades away into silence

                            dreams descend like dewdrops

dancing images                              people and places                                these are the dreams

                           insensible things                               that i've never seen

                                    

nothing is set in stone

especially after 2am when the homework is done

PAD Day 11

Sideways

In the end
Maybe it's the beauty of the sunset
Lighting up the sky
Or the gently falling leaves
Never has the world seemed so beautiful
Everything has a spirit and a shine
Lovely beyond compare
You should look up and see it

Swing Soul

I've got a swing soul and a love-song heart

When we're together, I wish to never part

Dance with me and we'll fall forever

Even for only the few moments we're together

I've got feet that stumble over the rhythm in my ears

But eyes that see beauty even after many years

The music is infectious, darling, let's take a chance

Just look over at me, take just one passing glance

Then they'll be yours, my heart and swingin' soul

We'll dance forever, you're the half to make mine whole

Don't leave me stranded out on the floor

Just take my hand and we'll dance once more

PAD Day 10 (double digits, whoo!)

The God Who Wept

"No other God has made Himself vulnerable to His creation—deliberately, consciously.  All other gods demand sacrifice but not this God:  “I will have mercy and not sacrifice.”" -Fiona Givens, The Weeping God.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" (Marianne Williamson)

"Jesus wept"  (John 11: 35)

Why is it so difficult for us to comprehend a God who weeps?

Why does God weep?

Why is weeping associated with weakness?

These questions have been running through my mind since reading the essay The Weeping God by Fiona Givens. To answer them, I think it's actually best to start with the last. Why is weeping associated with weakness? Why should the display of such strong emotion be considered lacking in strength?

I believe that we are afraid of the power of our own emotions. We are afraid of our hearts that can feel so deeply, and so we hide them away behind many walls and barriers. I, personally, try my best not to show any of my really strong emotions, especially tears. Everyone at some point has done this- held back so that no one would see us cry. Revealing that deep well of emotion, that vulnerable part of yourself, is scary. We are afraid of the power of our hearts, and we are afraid that other people will break them.

Over so many years, we have built up our society so that the hiding of emotion is normal, and so to show it must be a flaw, a breakdown of the walls we build for the sake of fitting in. Haven't we all seen someone crying and thought "that's pathetic" or that they were weak? Haven't we all reprimanded those who were hurting, telling them to "tough it up?" Crying is not seen as anything but weakness. It is seen as displaying a lack of self control.

Thus, a God who weeps is seen as sacrilegious. God is perfect; He has no weaknesses. How then could He weep? How could He lose control in such a way? Though God weeps for different reasons than we, His imperfect children, do, this difference goes unnoticed by society. If tears are weakness, they do not belong to God, but only to man, in our imperfect, fallen state.

But what if weeping is not weakness, but rather just an expression of emotion? What if society's perception is backwards? What if tears are rather the outpouring of emotions that have caused a heart to finally overflow?

Then a God who weeps becomes an emotional being, one who cares so deeply for His children that He cries for our pains and misfortunes. He is constantly watching over us, no matter what we are going through. He helps us where He can but He also allows us to grow, even if it pains Him to watch.

Isn't this a beautiful concept? An empathetic God who is always with us, who feels for our pains, who sheds tears for our sorrows. A Father who wishes only to hold us in His arms once more. A divine Being who loves His children enough to cry for us.

It changes us as well. Weeping becomes something with a place, something okay.  Crying becomes less shameful for us. It is no longer weakness. If God cries, then why can't we? To weep with and for others is something we learn from Him. To cry in the depths of our own trials is to cry unto Him, to ask for His aid. Tears are more than human weakness. Especially in sympathy for the pains of those we love. Especially in our own brokenheartedness. It deepens our sense of a caring Father in Heaven who loves us and will cry with us. God our Father is willing and able to "mourn with those that mourn...and comfort those who stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:9) just as He has asked us to do for others.

I believe that the true strength of the heart lies in the depth of emotion we can feel without apology- not the depth of emotion we can hide from the world while wearing a mask of a smile. I believe tears arising from our deepest cares are signs of strength, of a full heart, of a large heart that holds a whole world. Those tears are the most genuine of all. I believe these are the tears of God, and they come from a heart as large as the universe, that spans the stars and circles the sun, that sees galaxies collapse and still cries when we fall.

The God who wept is the strongest and most divine of all.

The Voices

Who, what, when, where, why?

the voices in my head are loud tonight

Who are you to be confident in yourself?

the voices in my head are loud tonight

What is the point of trying so hard?

the voices in my head are loud tonight

When will it all add up to be worth the pain?

the voices in my head are loud tonight

Where will you go, if this risk doesn't work out?

the voices in my head are loud tonight

Why do you bother, when everything always falls apart?

THE VOICES IN MY HEAD ARE LOUD TONIGHT

then a whisper

"Be still, and know that I am with you"

the voices in my head are quiet tonight

PAD Day 9

Sunday Series: Let's Keep It Simple

The church is true

God lives and loves us

Our trials only make us stronger

Love others and love will flow into your life

Serve others even when you won't be thanked

Believe when everything goes wrong

Pray when there's nothing left to do

Pray when life is good

Study your scriptures often and well

Don't forget He loves you

He cares less about what you've done and more about what you will become

Happy Sunday

This Time In History

the time is not yet passed is it

                                                          t             t               t

                                                            i           i            i

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                                                                k      k      k

                                                                  i     i     i

                                                                    n  n  n

                                                   t  i  c  k  i  n  g  n  i  k  c  i  t

                                                                    n  n  n

                                                                  i     i      i

                                                                k      k        k

                                                              c        c           c

                                                            i           i               i 

                                                          t             t                  t

                                                                                                           around this incomplete clock

this time in history

                               what is history? but that which is already past

moments

moments

moments

moments

each passes quicker than the next

we are writing history with our words

                                                             spelling it out with our tongues

                                                                                                                 making it with our actions 

what we say is what they will remember

this time in history. what time? now, for it will be history in but a breath, soon a time long past, unchangeable once these words are written and once these words are seen

never again will this moment be

so

capture

this moment

with me

PAD Day 8

To God

Dear God,

I am not the proper one to use these words

Especially to describe the wonder You are

Someone much brighter should be the one

To praise You from near to far

Yet I am honored with the privilege to worship

Such a grand and glorious being as Thou art

And You accept it though it is so flawed

Your love is dear and close to my heart

You have asked me to call you Father

And I am blessed to be Your child

And despite my occasional tantrums and rebellions

I am striving to be meek and mild

Ever higher, ever greater, better than before

Father, Your influence drives me to fly

Upward, soaring, improving, and growing

You have given me the chance to have the sky

I have not the words to say how incredible it is

That I am here and You are with me

The miracle of Your knowing my life and my name

And that Father and child we'll always be

Love,

Your Daughter

PAD Day 7

A Limerick

My friend Jared wrote a tale for a friend
It started quickly and soon reached the end
The tale was so small
Almost can't see it at all
How could such a tale ever be penned?

The story really was simple and without a plot
It could've been written with hardly a thought!
But on a chuckle I choked
It was clearly a joke
Still, to write a longer story, he ought

Tears and Rain

I am of the opinion that crying purifies the soul
Like a release valve for pent up emotion
And afterwards you smell petrichor
The clean scent of earth after rain
Tears may fall and feel so weak
But in truth you've been strong for too long
And weakness is necessary that we might be
Humbled and brought unto God
I am of the opinion that crying keeps us standing
When everything else has fallen down
That, though shoulders bowed, and tears are falling
They are water to this dehydrated ground

PAD Day 6

First Snowfall!

Today, it snowed. And so I took my camera and went adventuring until my fingers were numb and my battery was nearly dead. These ones are a few of my favorites :)